Time

I have had a lot of time alone since we moved up here, This is not a cry for help I am doing well.
I have spent this time productively by writing songs, improving at guitar and vocals, reading Gods word, getting a job, reflecting, growing, and hanging out with God(prayer and listening to Him). However, I have also spent this time unproductively by ignoring God, selfishly indulging, degrading spiritually, and pouring myself into hours of upon hours entertainment.

There seems to be a link, or hinging point on which the direction that I will swing is decided, on one side is productivity on the other is the unproductive side. Once I begin swinging in one direction the velocity to increase exponentially until I either find myself in despaired at what I have become or smile with glee at how I have been changed.

I have found that if I read Gods word and spend time with Him the I start to swing to the productive side. Life is great, I have more energy, and I am kinder to my wife, coworkers, and customers. God gives me songs to write and increases my skill. I even feel healthier and happier.

If I choose to ignore God, and it is a conscious choice, I swing toward the unproductive side. I become lazier, jaded, selfish, indulgent, angry and short tempered, I am mean to my wife and those around me, and everything I do seems to crumble in my hands like a dried up leaf. I don't even enjoy the blessings that are still pouring down on me from God. It is as if my soul dried up like fruit left in the desert.

The most amazing part of this whole experience is no matter how hard I rebelled against God He has always been there to pick me up when I broke myself.
laehciM