Micheal and Erika: May 2008

I was working on Monday and something amazing happened. It was close to the end of my shift and I finished my patient load early. I wanted to go home but I remembered that I needed to call my boss to check if he needed me to see any of his patients. I picked up the phone and I kept thinking "please say no! let me go home!" Well...he said there was one patient I could see. So...I went. I didn't even bother looking at her chart because I was counting on her to refuse treatment. I walked in, told her who I was and was somewhat relieved when she let out a deep sigh. Selfishly I was just waiting to hear her say she didn't want therapy. But I decided to hear her out. I asked her why she didn't want to get up. She started talking about her pain and before I knew it she was crying, almost sobbing. She said she had been in pain for weeks, that no one knew why, that the tests weren't showing anything and she just wanted a little bit of relief. She said the pain was almost too much to bear. I felt so helpless and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't help but agree as I watched her suffer that "life is so unfair." Her husband sat in the corner with sadness in his eyes. I held back my tears and decided I'd better shut up and listen. I held her hand as she told me how she felt. I remembered Jesus. I just kept thinking...there is nothing I can do...there is nothing ANYONE can do...except for God. I said a short little prayer and asked Jesus to give her some relief. I don't think I even finished praying when she suddenly relaxed. She was quiet for a moment and said, "you know, for some reason it isn't that bad right now." She looked at me almost alarmed and said, "It isn't just psychological! Maybe I feel better just because I cried it out." I knew better. I told her that I had prayed for her. I held her hand a little longer. I don't even remember what I said after that. I said goodbye and left. I had goosebumps all over my arms...because it was undeniable what just happened. I praised God and my soul felt like it was flying. God is soooo good....I guess we ARE supposed to be up here. I am powerless and frail and so much of the time afraid. And then God sends these little reminders that I don't need to be anything "great" but that I can just rest in knowing that He will guide me and use me somehow. I can't help but wonder what else God has planned...who else He needs Micheal and I to minister to...or who needs to minister to us. -Erika